Kevin and Oscar: Snapshots, Episode 3 - Halloween Havoc
by J-R Virtual Seasons
Summary: October/November 2004: When Kevin and the gang dress up and get together for Halloween, emotional walls come down and unexpected tensions come up. An eventful night looks set to play a pivotal role in the group's collective future.
1. Chapter 1

When Jandro arrived at the Rivera house, he saw that the car was parked half-in and half-out of the garage and the front door was open. As he approached the steps, he had to jump hastily to one side to avoid colliding with Carl and two suitcases. Carl continued on his way to the car without looking at Jandro, so Jandro went straight up to the front door.

'Hello?' Jandro called, as he peered around the frame of the open door. 'Kev, are you ready?'

Kevin appeared from the living room and grinned at Jandro; he nodded in approval to see that his guest was carrying a large plastic bag.

'Did you manage to get everything?' Kevin asked.

'Sure did,' Jandro grinned back at him. 'Yours and mine are both in here, and I've got five dollars in change for you too.'

'Great,' said Kevin. 'Let's go upstairs and get to work!'

'Your parents are still here,' Jandro pointed out.

'They won't disturb us – they're too busy getting ready for their little vacation.'

'Okay then, let's do it.'

Ten minutes later, Carl and Beth were moderately alarmed to hear the unmistakable sound of Kevin screaming in pain. When they heard a second scream, they both ran to the foot of the stairs.

'What the hell are they doing up there?' said Carl.

'I don't know,' said Beth. 'Kevin said Jandro was going to help him with his Halloween costume, but...'

The storey above reverberated once again with Kevin's strangled cries. Carl and Beth exchanged a worried look.

'Should I go up there?' said Carl.

'I don't know,' said Beth. 'Maybe you should.'

They then heard the sound of Kevin and Jandro collapsing into hysterical laughter. Carl adopted an expression of complete bemusement.

'Well, they seem happy enough,' said Beth. 'Maybe we should just leave them to it. I'll finish getting James ready while you take out the last of the luggage, okay?'

'Okay,' said Carl.

Just as they were about to go their separate ways, they heard Jandro screaming in pain several times, followed by more hysterical laughter and a good deal of crashing around.

'I _do_ wonder what Kevin's costume is,' said Beth.

'Maybe it's best not to ask,' said Carl. 'I'll get that stuff out to the car.'

When Carl returned from this errand, he found Beth once again standing at the foot of the stairs, this time with James cradled in her arms.

'They've both gone into the bathroom,' said Beth, 'and the shower's on!'

'Oh my God,' said Carl. 'I remember saying once that Kevin would never two-time Oscar, but now I'm not so sure.'

'I'll have a word with him when he comes out,' said Beth. 'Can you get James settled in the car?'

Carl nodded, and carefully took hold of his younger son. A few seconds after they had disappeared through the front door, Beth heard the bathroom door opening upstairs.

'Kevin!' she called. 'Could you come down here a moment, please?'

Kevin and Jandro both appeared at the top of the stairs. Kevin was dressed in a towel robe and had a shower cap over his hair. Jandro was still wearing his normal clothes, although his trousers were on back-to-front.

'Hi, Mom,' said Kevin, as he reached the bottom of the staircase. 'Are you guys ready to leave?'

'Yes, we are,' said Beth. 'Honey, is everything... okay up there?'

'Everything's fine, Mom,' said Kevin. 'We're just working on my costume. Sorry if we were making too much noise.'

'No, no – just so long as there's nothing wrong,' said Beth. 'Now you're absolutely sure you don't want to come with us, aren't you?'

'Perfectly sure, Mom,' said Kevin. 'I want to have my Halloween party.'

'Yes, of course,' said Beth. 'Kevin, you will be careful, won't you? I know you've never been the kind of kid who's likely to set the house on fire or start experimenting with illegal substances when he's left on his own, but I also know how wild the six of you can be when you get together.'

'You don't need to worry that you're leaving us without adult supervision,' Kevin grinned. 'Jandro's eighteen now.'

'I'll make sure the place is still standing when you get home,' said Jandro.

'I just want the six of us to have fun together while we still can,' said Kevin. 'This time next year, Jandro and Lucy will be in England, Ella will have a full college schedule, and Michael could be planning to be on Mars for all I know! I'm gonna miss us all hanging out together and I want to make the most of the time we have left.'

'Oh, honey,' said Beth, 'of course you do. I'll stop worrying and leave you to your fun.'

Carl appeared in the doorway, casting glances back at the car every few seconds.

'Are we ready to roll?' he asked.

'Yes, we are,' said Beth. 'Goodbye, Kevin. See you in a couple of days.'

'Bye, Mom,' said Kevin, giving her a hug. 'Give Granny and Grampy my love, and tell them I'm looking forward to seeing them at Christmas.'

Beth nodded, and went to join Carl. Carl nodded to Kevin, who nodded back, then the front door was closed and Kevin and Jandro were left alone.

'Granny and Grampy,' Jandro giggled, giving Kevin a punch on the arm.

'Fuck you!' Kevin laughed, punching Jandro in return so that he almost fell over. 'I've called them that my whole life and I can't get out of the habit, okay?'

'Okay, dude,' said Jandro, 'whatever you say. How is it now?'

Kevin opened the front of his robe and looked down at himself.

'It's still a little red,' he said, 'but I think we can move on to the next stage.'

'Great!' Jandro grinned. 'I've been looking forward to this.'

* * *

Jandro opened the front door to find Michael and Ella standing on the other side. Michael was wearing a horned helmet and a long blond wig on his head, and Ella had dyed her hair red. Oscar had already arrived and was mooching around in the living room doorway, dressed in a leather tabard and leather trousers. His shoulder-length hair was dyed a silvery-grey colour.

'Hi, Jandro,' said Ella. 'Nice skeleton costume.'

'Thanks,' said Jandro. 'But I didn't realise it was gonna be so tight when I bought it – I think it's seriously damaging my chances of ever having kids. Come on in; let me take your coats.'

Michael and Ella entered the house. As they took off their coats, it was revealed that Michael was dressed in a plastic breastplate, laced-up knee-length boots and a large pair of furry shorts, while Ella was wearing green leggings and a purple bra.

Just as Jandro was about to close the door, he noticed that a figure in a brown leotard and a cardboard dragon head was approaching the house, dragging a cardboard tail behind it.

'Wait!' Lucy's voice emerged from the cardboard head. 'Don't close the door – I'm here!'

'Hi, Luce,' said Jandro. 'Great dragon costume.'

'Thanks,' said Lucy, closing the front door behind her. 'I'd have been here sooner, but I had to walk because John's car doesn't have any gas in it.'

'Well, we're all here now,' said Jandro, 'so it's time to introduce our host! Kev, you can come down now!'

Kevin appeared at the top of the stairs and began to make his way down. Everyone started to laugh and make noises of approval. Kevin was wearing purple knee-length shorts, and the rest of his body was covered with green make-up. His hair was dyed a different shade of green. When he reached the bottom stair, he treated his guests to a flex and a roar. They all laughed.

'That's fantastic, Kev,' said Lucy.

'Thanks,' Kevin grinned. 'I think you've all told me at some time or other that I'm like the Incredible Hulk in some way, so now I _am_ him!'

'You didn't do the body paint yourself, did you?' asked Ella.

'No,' said Kevin, 'Jandro did it. He also waxed me.'

'Not that there was a huge amount of hair to take off,' said Jandro, 'but we thought it would make the body paint go on more easily, and it did.'

'We waxed Jandro's legs too,' Kevin grinned, 'just for fun!'

'I've never been in so much pain,' said Jandro. 'I had to wear my pants back-to-front to stop them rubbing.'

'I bet that skeleton costume rubs though, right?' said Lucy.

'Really badly,' said Jandro. 'And it's too tight in all the wrong places. But I don't care – it's Halloween and we're gonna have fun! Let's put on the Halloween CD and have a dance.'

'First I want to make sure I've worked out what everyone's costume is,' said Kevin. 'Me and Jandro we all know... Lucy, you're obviously a dragon.'

'Yes – a Chinese dragon,' said Lucy, 'here to bring you good luck and great wisdom, Kev.'

'Thanks,' said Kevin, flashing her a grin. 'Mike, you're a Viking.'

'Which Viking?' Michael demanded.

'Um...' said Kevin.

'Can't you see my hammer?'

'Um... oh, yes I can! Make sure you keep that thing in your belt, Mike, okay? I guess it means you must be Thor.'

'Right,' Michael grinned. 'You and me are both Marvel superheroes, Kev.'

'Ella, you're Ariel,' said Kevin.

'That's right,' said Ella, 'I'm the Little Mermaid!'

'You don't look so _little_ to me,' Jandro remarked, casting a significant look at Ella.

'Jandro, you're naughty!' Ella grinned, adjusting her purple bra slightly.

'How about me?' said Oscar. 'You can tell who I'm meant to be, can't you?'

'Um, well... you're obviously a ghost,' said Kevin.

'Which ghost?' said Oscar.

'Er... oh, are you Vigo?' Kevin grinned.

'Of course I am!' said Oscar. 'If he'd had his way, he'd have been using my body to take over the world about now, so I couldn't really come as anyone else, could I? Danny helped me with the hair dye.'

'Everyone looks excellent,' said Kevin. 'I bought a disposable camera so we can take some pictures of each other, but let's go into the living room and have a dance first.'

* * *

As Kevin put the Halloween CD back in its case, Oscar, Jandro, Lucy and Michael arranged themselves around the room on sofas and chairs, each drinking deeply from a paper cup. Lucy had abandoned all the cardboard parts of her costume. Ella was sitting on the floor, doing some calculations with a pencil and paper.

'So, these are the final standings in the arm-wrestling contest,' she announced, 'in descending order: Kevin, Michael, Oscar, Ella, Jandro, Lucy.'

'Jesus, how embarrassing,' said Jandro. 'I should've had you, Ella!'

'Maybe you'll get to _have_ me later on, Jandro,' Ella laughed. 'You never know your luck!'

'Everyone happy just to sit and relax for a few moments?' said Kevin, perching himself on the arm of Oscar's chair. 'I'm whacked!'

There were murmurs of assent from all his guests.

'Do your parents know that we're all staying the night, Kev?' asked Michael.

'Yes, they do,' said Kevin. 'And I've promised them we're going to have nothing but good, wholesome fun.'

'Oh, that's a shame,' said Ella. 'I guess your dad was worried we were gonna have some kind of an orgy, huh?'

'Maybe,' said Kevin.

'He's probably hoping we _will_ have an orgy,' said Oscar, 'and it'll make you realise that you actually want to have sex with girls after all. He still doesn't like me, you know!'

'He _does_ like you!' said Kevin. 'He's just... adjusting.'

'I think he should've done that by now,' said Ella.

'So do I,' said Oscar.

'Well, I don't really care what he thinks,' Kevin shrugged. 'Actually, I find it kinda... Jesus, I can't believe I'm gonna say this out loud!'

'Say what out loud?' said Jandro. 'You just have to tell us now, dude!'

'I find it kinda exciting, doing stuff that he obviously doesn't really approve of,' said Kevin. 'I mean, it's fun to defy your parents, isn't it?'

'I'll say it is!' said Lucy.

'I can't help laughing when I think about how he must be feeling about me planning to go on a homosexual backpacking tour of Mexico,' Kevin confessed. 'It must really piss him off!'

'A _homosexual_ backpacking tour of Mexico?' Oscar queried.

'I'm sure that's what my dad thinks of it as,' said Kevin. 'But still, I think you'll really like it, man.'

'I'm fascinated to know what the difference is between a homosexual backpacking tour of Mexico and any other kind of backpacking tour of Mexico,' said Oscar.

'Well, here,' said Kevin, sliding onto Oscar's lap, 'let me show you.'

Kevin reached down the side of the chair and pulled the lever to activate the reclining mechanism, whereupon he and Oscar were tipped into a horizontal position. Following their lead, Michael slid a hand inside Ella's bra. Ella gave him a look, then they started to kiss. With a glance to either side and a quick shrug, Lucy and Jandro allowed their lips to meet and their hands to start exploring each other.

'Wait!' Kevin suddenly exclaimed, jumping off Oscar in a sudden burst of movement. 'Just wait a minute, everyone! We'll end up having an orgy at this rate. We've got to control ourselves and have some good, non-sexual fun.'

'It's these costumes that are the problem,' said Lucy. 'They're making us lose our inhibitions.'

'You mean they're haunted?' said Oscar.

'No, they're not haunted – it's simple psychology,' said Lucy. 'We're all dressed as someone or something else, so we're letting ourselves get carried away because we don't really feel like ourselves.'

'I guess there's something in that,' said Jandro.

'Of course there is – just look at us!' said Lucy. 'Kevin and Michael look like they're fathers' rights campaigners going in for Mr Universe, Ella's got her fun bags on display for all of us to enjoy, and we can see every curve and crease of your junk through that bodysuit, Jandro!'

'Hey, I really didn't realise how tight this was gonna be when I bought it!' said Jandro.

'Plus you're rocking some exquisite camel toe yourself, Luce,' Ella added.

'Well, exactly!' said Lucy. 'The only one of us who's even vaguely sensibly dressed is Oscar!'

'Oh, cool,' Oscar grinned. 'Does that mean I win the prize for the best costume?'

'I'll give you your prize later,' said Kevin. 'Lucy's right; we'll have to try extra hard to control ourselves. So, does anyone want to do anything apart from have an orgy?'

'Hey, I have an idea!' said Ella. 'I want to see who wins a fight between Thor and the Incredible Hulk.'

'You'd better watch _The Incredible Hulk Returns_ , then,' said Lucy.

'I think that fight was a tie, wasn't it?' said Jandro.

'I'm definitely up for recreating it, and for giving it a more conclusive result!' said Michael. 'How about you, Kev?'

'I don't really want to fight you right now, Mike,' Kevin demurred. 'I've never done that kind of thing in front of an audience before.'

'Is that the real reason, Kev?' said Michael. 'Or are you afraid I might finally get the better of you?'

'No,' said Kevin, smiling slightly, 'I don't think that's very likely.'

'There you go, then,' said Michael. 'Besides, you like play-fighting, don't you?'

'I do,' said Kevin. 'I do like play-fighting.' 

'Great!' Ella grinned. 'I'll set out the arena and lay down the rules. Kev, do you have some string?'

* * *

'It's just as well we _did_ stop ourselves from doing anything before,' said Ella, as she laid out the string on the floor. 'I didn't bring any... protection. Did you, Mike?'

'No,' said Michael. 'This costume has no pockets.'

'That right there is a huge advantage of homosexual relationships,' said Oscar. 'No danger of unwanted pregnancy!'

'Hey, you're right!' said Michael. 'Maybe Ella and Lucy can put on a show for us after me and Kev are done with ours – a different kind of show, I mean. I'd sure like to see you two girls doing everything you can to _not_ get each other pregnant!'

'Mike, you fucking pervert!' Ella laughed.

'You're right, Oscar, but then it works both ways,' Jandro said thoughtfully. 'What are you gonna do when you actually want a baby, huh?'

'There's loads of options for same-sex couples, and there'll be even more in the near future,' said Kevin. 'I've read a lot about it.'

'You have?' said Oscar.

'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'You know, just out of interest... in medical stuff, I mean.'

'I know how you two could have a baby,' said Ella. 'I would definitely carry one for you.'

A few seconds of stunned silence followed.

'Someday, I mean,' Ella added. 'Not tonight. I really like you both, I think you're a great couple and I'd be thrilled to give you a gift like that.'

'Well... thanks, Ella,' said Kevin. 'That means a lot.'

'I don't get how it would work,' said Michael. 'I mean, where would the egg come from?'

'From a donor,' said Ella.

'Not from you?' said Michael.

'No,' said Ella. 'An anonymous donor.'

'And who'd be the father?' said Michael. 'You know, biologically.'

'Well, I don't know,' said Ella. 'Probably we'd get some jizz from both of them and a bunch of donor eggs, mix it all up together, stick it inside me and see what happens.'

Everyone laughed, causing the slight atmosphere that had developed to dissipate.

'It wouldn't _have_ to be you, Ella,' said Lucy. 'I'm sure my uterus is just as good as yours, if not better! I'd really like to carry a baby for them too.'

'Well, we could both give it a try,' said Ella, 'then there'd be twice the chance of something actually happening. Yeah, great idea, Luce!'

'Let's not make any definite plans right now, huh?' said Oscar.

'Yeah,' said Ella. 'Sorry, I guess I got a little carried away. Okay, so this fight – as you can see, I've marked out the arena with string. If either combatant touches the floor outside the string with any part of his body, or disturbs the string itself, he loses. If either combatant is pinned to the floor for more than ten seconds, he loses. And you just keep fighting until one of those two things happens, okay?'

'Sure thing, Ella,' said Michael.

'Okay,' said Kevin.

Michael abandoned his hammer and entered the arena. Kevin came to stand opposite him. They narrowed their eyes at each other.

'You're going down, Kev,' said Michael.

'You wish,' said Kevin.

'Ooh, this is exciting!' Ella laughed. 'The boys are getting tough.'

' _Some_ of them are, yeah,' said Jandro.

'Okay, so... just start when you're ready,' said Ella.

'It's wrestling moves only, yeah?' said Michael. 'So no punching.'

'And no kicking,' said Kevin.

'Give me your best shot, Kev.'

'You first, Mike.'

Obligingly, Michael ran at Kevin and grabbed his shoulders. Kevin mirrored Michael exactly, and they started to grapple fiercely.

'Oh dear,' Ella remarked. 'I'm more turned on now than I have been all evening.'

'Me too, actually,' said Jandro. 'All the testosterone in the air is doing things to me.'

There came a collective gasp as Michael suddenly lost his footing and fell down on one knee. Kevin took a step back to allow him time to recover, but Michael took the opportunity to lunge for Kevin's legs instead.

'Ooh, no fair!' Oscar piped up. 'Michael cheated!'

'No one said they had to step back and wait if the other one fell over,' said Lucy. 'Kevin should've shoved Michael out of the ring when he had the chance.'

Kevin had now grabbed Michael around the upper torso; another collective gasp emerged from the spectators as Kevin lifted Michael off the ground and flipped him onto his back. Michael let out a vocalisation of pain and annoyance. Kevin grinned and was about to jump on top of him, but Michael jumped back up to his feet with a surprising turn of speed and gave Kevin an almighty shove.

'Michael was playing possum!' Oscar objected.

'It's not against the rules,' said Ella, her eyes shining as she watched the fight.

Kevin crashed onto his backside and put his hands out behind him. He turned his head to see that the heel of his left hand was less than a centimetre away from the string.

'He's outside the arena!' Michael declared. 'I win!'

'No way – he didn't touch the sides!' said Jandro. 'The fight's still on!'

'Jandro's right, Mike,' said Ella. 'Keep going!'

Michael ran at Kevin. From his position on the floor, Kevin raised his legs and wrapped his feet around the backs of Michael's knees. There came an almighty crash as Michael was brought to the ground.

'I taught him that one,' Oscar said proudly.

Kevin was now in the process of scrambling on top of Michael, who had not yet quite realised what had happened to him.

'Get him, Kev!' Lucy yelled. 'Smash his face in!'

'That _would_ be against the rules,' Ella pointed out.

'I know,' said Lucy. 'I was speaking metaphorically.'

Kevin had now pinned Michael's shoulders to the floor, and was pushing down on him with tremendous force. Michael squirmed and struggled, but he found that he could barely move.

'One!' Oscar suddenly declared. 'Two! Three!'

The rest of the audience joined in with the countdown. Frowning in determination, Michael started to undulate his body like a snake. Kevin could feel his captive squirming away from him; he was far from sure that he could maintain his grip for the full ten seconds. In a sudden burst of movement, Kevin jumped to his feet, wrapped his arms around Michael and lifted him bodily into the air.

'Yes!' said Oscar. 'Dump him! Dump him!'

Everyone took up the cry. As he lurched towards the string and prepared to launch Michael over the edge, Kevin found himself basking in his friends' mindless adulation. He grinned at them.

'Kevin smash!' he declared, and slammed Michael onto the floor beyond the string.

Oscar, Lucy, Jandro and Ella were in hysterics after Kevin's performance. Buoyed up by their reaction, Kevin started performing a series of flexes, accompanied by bestial roars. His audience reacted as he had hoped, laughing and cheering for all they were worth. As Kevin came over to the sofa, Lucy, Jandro and Oscar hurled themselves on him, and Ella grabbed on to his left arm; they all collapsed in a heap.

'That was excellent, Kev,' said Lucy. 'You were fantastic!'

'The Incredible Hulk always wins,' Kevin grinned. 'You guys should know that!'

Everyone laughed again. Left alone on the floor, Michael dragged himself to his feet. He stared at the laughing mass on the sofa, frowned and then ran from the room, slamming the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

A stunned silence fell across the room.

'Oh my God,' said Kevin, 'I hope I didn't slam him too hard.'

'Don't worry – you didn't,' said Ella. 'Mike's had a monkey up his ass for a while – I'm sure you all remember how he was at McDonalds last week.'

'Maybe he thought we were all laughing at him,' said Oscar. 'Just now, I mean. That's not a nice feeling.'

'It's not true, though,' said Jandro.

'Yeah,' said Oscar, 'but it's still not nice to feel that way, even if it's all in your mind.'

'It first started when I told him about my college plans,' said Ella. 'I'm gonna go talk to him – I think he needs to open up about his feelings.'

Ella rose from the sofa and left the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

'So,' said Jandro, 'quick orgy while they're gone, just the four of us?'

'Jandro,' said Kevin, 'I think you need to take a cold shower.'

'I'll help you work off some of that testosterone, Jandro,' said Oscar, rising to his feet, 'if you think you can handle me.'

Jandro jumped up and said, 'Come at me, bro.'

* * *

As Michael and Ella came back into the living room, Oscar was in the process of turning Jandro upside down and dumping him on the far side of the string arena.

'Oh, hey,' said Kevin, sounding very pleased that everyone was back together again. 'Listen, Mike, I'm sorry if I really hurt you back there; if it's any consolation, I'm feeling pretty sore myself in several places, especially my butt!'

'Don't worry about that, Kev – I enjoyed the fight, even though I didn't win,' said Michael. 'It really was one of our best ever. It's just that... well, Ella told me what Oscar said, and he was right – I kinda felt like you were all laughing at me afterward.'

'We really weren't, Mike,' said Ella. 'Were we, guys?'

'Definitely not,' said Oscar. 'We were laughing because you _both_ put on such a fantastic show!'

'Yeah,' said Lucy. 'I didn't _really_ want to see Kevin smash your face in, Michael; you were both highly entertaining.'

'That's right,' said Jandro. 'We're your friends, Mike – really, we are!'

'There, you see,' Ella said to him soothingly. 'It was all in your head, babe.'

'I know,' Michael sighed. 'Thank you, guys. I realise I've been a pain in the butt recently – not just tonight – and I want to tell you all why.'

'Good idea,' said Lucy. 'For one thing, it'll take our minds off being horny if we talk instead.'

Michael smiled, and he and Ella took their seats once again. Kevin fetched a fresh batch of paper cups and went around the room giving everyone Sunny Delight. Once they were all settled, Michael began his explanation.

'You're right, Ella,' he said. 'It was when you talked about your plans for next year that I started feeling... well, uncomfortable. It's not just you, either – you _all_ have loads of exciting plans, don't you? They make _my_ plan look boring and stupid!'

'I'm sure that's not true, Mike,' said Kevin.

'You do _have_ a plan, then?' Lucy asked with interest.

'Yeah, I do,' said Michael. 'I applied online this morning.'

'Ooh, intriguing,' said Jandro.

'If you tell us what you've applied for, we can go around the room and discuss why our plans aren't any better than yours,' Oscar suggested. 'Some of them are probably much _worse_! I mean, I'm still gonna be in school next year! Mr Loser or what, huh?'

'Yeah, go on, Mike,' said Kevin. 'Tell us what you're going to do.'

'I'm joining a construction firm,' said Michael. 'I'm gonna learn on the job and get graded on some stuff, and then after a year I get a certificate to say I've passed – unless I _haven't_ passed – and the company can keep me on if they like me.'

'You mean like an apprenticeship?' said Oscar.

'Yeah, exactly,' said Michael.

'But Mike, that's excellent,' said Kevin. 'You get your qualification at the end, plus you're earning money all the time as you do it! Jeez, that's a really useful and sensible thing to do when you finish school – how could you think there's anything wrong with it?'

'It's perfect for you, Mike,' said Ella. 'Why the hell did you think I'd think you weren't good enough for me just because you were doing that?'

'I thought you might want me to do something more... more academic,' said Michael. 'It's not like I'm becoming a doctor or something, like Lucy.'

'I might not become a doctor,' said Lucy. 'I'm just studying sciences for now.'

'Why should I expect you to do something academic?' said Ella. 'No offence, Mike, but you've never been an academic kind of guy. This apprenticeship of yours plays to your strengths perfectly – you're really clever with your hands, and you're really strong.'

'Yeah, that's what I figured,' said Michael.

'You figured right,' said Ella. 'It's much better than _my_ college plans, messing around with a ton of useless subjects until I have to decide what to major in, then graduating and desperately trying to think of something to do with it! I'll probably end up staying at McDonalds forever and becoming the restaurant manager!'

'Not that there's anything wrong with that,' said Oscar. 'What the hell am _I_ gonna do after I get back from Mexico? Become a really famous musician? Probably not. Go to college? Probably, but I don't know what the hell I want to study. Jeez, it's really scary when you stop and think about it.'

'All I can think about for now is studying in Nottingham for two years, and Hong Kong for a year in the middle,' said Lucy. 'I'm really excited about it and I'm sure I've made the right choice of what to study, but what the hell am I gonna do when I'm back in the USA, twenty-one and the owner of a totally useless science degree?'

'You'll do something really clever and really wonderful, Luce,' said Kevin. 'I don't think there's any doubt about that.'

'Yeah, well, I sure hope so... and what about Jandro, huh?' said Lucy. 'He's only coming to Nottingham because I'm going, aren't you, Jandro?'

'Well, I _do_ want to do a math degree, and Nottingham has one of the best programmes I found when I did my research,' said Jandro, 'but it's true that I probably wouldn't go to the trouble of leaving the country if I wasn't in it with you, Luce, yeah.'

'You see, Michael,' said Lucy, 'we're both being totally self-indulgent with our plans and not thinking about the future at all! That's exactly the opposite of what you're doing!'

'Yeah, well I... I suppose this is the best thing for me to do, all things considered,' said Michael. 'I guess I made the right choice.'

'Of course you did,' said Ella. 'You found the perfect job and qualification to match your skills and interests, and I'm really, really proud of you.'

Michael beamed, and gave Ella a crushing hug. She smiled and hugged him back.

'How about you, Kev?' said Michael. 'You didn't tell us what you're gonna do.'

'I'm just gonna be killing time until Mexico, I guess,' Kevin shrugged. 'I want to volunteer at the hospital every weekday morning, once school's out of the way, and I'll be picking up a bunch more hours at Tom's Mexican Salsa Hut – Tom says he's sure I'll be ready to take charge of a few shifts by then. I'm also going to be a part-time Ghostbuster, and I have to investigate whether I can apply to the Fire Department to be a paramedic and defer it to January two thousand seven.'

'That's not killing time, Kev,' said Lucy. 'That's doing a whole load of useful stuff!'

'Your plan is definitely more interesting than mine,' said Michael.

'Don't be silly, Mike,' said Kevin, 'it's not a competition – we're all doing what's right for us, and of course it's not all the same kind of thing.'

'It'll be years before we can all meet up again as a group, after next summer,' said Ella. 'That makes me feel kinda sad.'

'Me too,' said Michael.

'Yeah,' said Jandro. 'Who are we gonna have group sex with in the meantime?'

They all laughed and exchanged warm looks.

'We just have to make sure we enjoy the rest of our time together as much as we can,' said Lucy. 'Let's put the Halloween CD back on and have another dance! Ella, I want to dance with you and see how long Michael can keep from touching himself!'

'It won't be very long,' Michael grinned.

'Just before we do that,' said Kevin, 'let's discuss the sleeping arrangements a little. We can spread ourselves out upstairs if you want, but I thought it might be more fun if we bring a load of bedding down and all sleep here in the living room. We can talk for a while, and maybe watch a horror movie – I've prepared a selection of them on VHS.'

'Ooh yeah, let's do that,' said Ella.

'But won't we end up having an orgy?' said Jandro.

'Three separate couples sleeping together in three separate areas of the same room doesn't constitute an orgy,' said Oscar. 'I think we can get away with it, no matter what might happen once the lights go out.'

'Okay, well the blow-up mattress is on its side in the dining room, so maybe Mike and Ella want to deal with that,' said Kevin. 'I've got my quilt and two other quilts waiting in the home office, so me and Oscar will get those ready. Jandro and Lucy, could you go up to the linen closet by the attic door and fetch down some pillows and blankets? You know the one, don't you? It's all the way at the top of the stairs, on the left.'

'Yeah, no problem,' said Jandro.

'What movie should we watch?' said Michael.

'Do you have _Night of the Living Dead_?' said Ella. 'I mean the original, obviously.'

'Please, no zombie movies,' said Jandro. 'Have you got _Candyman_ , Kev?'

'Ooh yeah, I haven't seen that one for ages,' said Oscar.

'Yes, I'm sure it's in the pile somewhere,' said Kevin. 'We'll make a final decision later, after we've gotten the bedding set up.'

'We're gonna have another dance first though, right?' said Lucy.

'Right,' said Kevin. 'I'll put the CD on.'

'Come on then, Luce,' said Ella, 'let's show the boys some _real_ moves!'

* * *

As Jandro fought to get the door of the linen closet open, Lucy stared at him with a thoughtful expression on her face.

'Jandro,' she said, 'I don't ever want there to be any awkwardness or secrets between us.'

'Neither do I, Luce,' he replied, his attention still focused on the door.

'Right, so that's why I'm gonna tell you what I'm about to tell you,' said Lucy. 'I didn't like the way you and Ella were flirting with each other earlier – it made me feel kinda jealous.'

'Oh! I'm sorry, Luce,' said Jandro, turning to face her. 'That _really_ didn't mean anything. You said it yourself – the costumes were to blame. Besides, Ella doesn't even think of me as a real boy – you heard what she said just before Kevin and Michael did their WWF impression!'

Lucy laughed, nodded slightly and then looked at the floor.

'I know you noticed Ella's fun bags when we first arrived,' she said quietly.

'Yeah, I noticed them – we _all_ noticed them!' said Jandro. 'But believe me, Luce, the only fun bags I want to have fun with are yours.'

'I've never thought of mine as fun bags,' said Lucy, giving him a wry smile. 'More like fun _mounds_.'

'However you want to think of them, they're definitely fun!' Jandro grinned. 'I don't care about Ella's boobs – yours are the only boobs I want anything to do with, ever!'

'I'm very glad to hear that,' said Lucy, 'because let's face it, Jandro, you _are_ somewhat of a suckler, aren't you?'

'Only on you,' Jandro said firmly. 'I love you, Lucy – I've always loved you, ever since the seventh grade. Don't you know that?'

'Yeah, I do know that,' said Lucy. 'And I love you too, Jandro.'

'Great!' said Jandro. 'Wait a second – is this why you were so quick to challenge Ella on the subject of uterus superiority?'

'Well... kind of, yeah,' Lucy admitted. 'I kinda thought Ella was acting like she was the only person in the gang with working female parts, and I just wanted to remind everyone that she's not!'

'Hey, you don't need to remind _me_ of that,' Jandro assured her. 'Were you also trying to prove that you're just as much a woman as she is when you decided to strut your girly stuff with her on the dancefloor?'

'Not exactly,' said Lucy, smiling wryly again. 'Anyway, we didn't do very much – we just gyrated together... and straddled each other's legs a little... and squeezed each other a tiny bit.'

'Well, I thought it was really hot!' Jandro grinned. 'I mean, I thought _you_ were really hot, Luce. But then that's nothing new, 'cause I always think that.'

Lucy smiled, and snaked her arms around Jandro's waist. He hugged her tightly in return.

'Luce, you know what you were saying to Michael about Nottingham?' said Jandro.

'Yeah,' said Lucy.

'You... you don't think of me as some kind of an annoying hanger-on who you don't really want coming with you, right?'

'Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, of course not! I love that we're gonna have this adventure together, Jandro. I just hope you really want to do it as much as I want to.'

'I do, and I'll tell you the three reasons why,' said Jandro. 'One – I want to do a math degree, and Nottingham has one that I think sounds really good. Two – I want to travel, and see some interesting parts of the world. Three – I want to be with you. Pretty good reasons, huh?'

'The best,' said Lucy.

' _You're_ the best,' said Jandro.

* * *

Kevin and Oscar were each shaking a duvet cover onto a duvet.

'Can I ask you something?' said Oscar.

'Of course,' said Kevin.

'Why did you get Jandro to help you with your Incredible Hulk getup? You could've asked me. I mean, it could've been fun.'

'I wanted you to be surprised when I made my entrance. Also, I wanted you to be impressed... and if I'm totally honest, I wanted you to be turned on as well.'

'You succeeded on all three counts,' Oscar grinned.

'Anyway,' Kevin pointed out, 'you got Danny to help you with yours.'

'Oh yeah,' Oscar laughed, 'so I did. But we didn't _wax_ each other!'

'You can help me get my make-up _off_ tomorrow if you want,' said Kevin.

'Yeah,' said Oscar, 'I do want.'

* * *

The final haunting chords of the _Candyman_ theme tune petered out, and Kevin turned off the VCR.

'Jesus,' said Lucy, 'I'm really freaked out now.'

'What's the matter, Lucy?' Jandro whispered, poking her in the ribs. 'Scared of something?'

'Stop it!' Lucy squeaked, giving Jandro an almighty slap across the chest.

'Let's get a mirror and try calling the Candyman!' said Michael.

'No, let's not,' said Kevin. 'He might just show up, and we don't want to have to deal with _that_! I think we should go to sleep instead.'

'Aren't we gonna mess around for a while first?' said Oscar. 'In our own corners, I mean – not all in a big pile.'

'We're definitely gonna mess around for a while over here,' said Michael, 'aren't we, Ella?'

'Yes, I suppose we might as well,' said Ella, 'now that we've come this far.'

'I need to do something to take my mind off that movie,' said Lucy.

'I'm glad to hear it,' said Jandro.

'Like I said before,' said Oscar, 'it's not really an orgy – just a kind of shared experience.'

'Well,' said Kevin, 'if you put it like that...'

* * *

Early the next morning the Rivera house became a hive of activity, mostly involving people running up and down the stairs between the kitchen and the bathroom. Just as Oscar was about to enter the kitchen, he noticed that Lucy and Ella were standing at the sink, popping pills from a blister pack and preparing to swallow them with water. He hung back in the hallway, mooching awkwardly about while they talked.

'I knew it'd be a good idea to bring these things,' said Lucy, after she had swallowed her pill.

'Thank goodness you did,' said Ella. 'Do you want me to pay you back for this?'

'Don't be silly,' said Lucy. 'It's a gift from me to you.'

Ella smiled, and swallowed her pill. She looked at the packet as Lucy returned it to her overnight bag, noticing that three of the blisters were empty while three remained full.

'You already took one before today,' Ella remarked.

'Yes,' said Lucy. 'Last night was me and Jandro's second time. Well, our second _session_ , I guess.'

'Oh, cool,' said Ella.

Lucy adopted a thoughtful expression for a moment and then asked, 'Do you know how many times you and Michael are up to?'

'We're at about ten,' said Ella. 'I did keep count at first, but it gets kinda difficult after a while. I'll always remember the first two times, though... because they were very different experiences... and they were about two years apart. I tell you, Luce, you did the right thing to wait 'til you were totally ready – you can't take it back once you've done it.'

'I'm sorry, Ella,' said Lucy. 'I didn't mean to rake up bad memories for you.'

'It's not exactly a bad memory,' Ella said, shrugging. 'But I do wish I'd thought a little more, and listened to my secret heart instead of my overexcited head. I really started to question my relationship with Michael after it happened, but I'm totally in a good place about the whole thing now – when it comes right down to it, I love the great big putz and that's all there is to it.'

'It's obvious he feels the same way,' said Lucy.

'I'm glad I can talk to you about this stuff, Luce – there's really no one else I'd rather do it with,' said Ella. 'I wish we'd done it more, while we had the chance.'

'We'll have regular update chats from now until the end of the summer,' said Lucy. 'And it seems like we'll have plenty to talk about!'

'I'm sorry if you thought I was flirting with Jandro last night,' said Ella. 'I saw you giving me an evil look after I implied that he might get to _have_ me later on – I really didn't mean it.'

'That's okay,' said Lucy. 'I was just being silly.'

'Jandro's not my type, you know,' said Ella. 'Obviously I love all four of those boys in varying ways, but if we're talking strictly sexually, Michael is my type, Kevin is my type, Oscar is tall enough to be my type but he could do with a little more meat on him, and Jandro's not my type.'

'He's definitely mine,' said Lucy. 'I think I'm getting addicted to him.'

'I'm sure you are!' said Ella. 'He's a real goer, isn't he?'

'He's almost literally a perpetual motion machine,' Lucy giggled.

'I really enjoyed dancing with you,' said Ella. 'It was a lot of fun – I have to admit, I found the experience more than a little titillating.'

'Neither of us can've been even half so titillated as Michael was,' Lucy giggled. 'But yeah, it _was_ a lot of fun. Plus I was really happy to feel close to you again, Ella, even if it was just in a crude, physical sense. You're the only real girl-friend I've ever had, you know.'

'Me too,' said Ella, reaching out to cup Lucy's cheek. 'You, I mean. I'm really gonna miss you when you go to England, Luce. I'm gonna miss us all being together as a gang, sure... but I'm gonna miss _you_ in particular.'

'I'm gonna miss you too, Ella.'

The girls moved in for a close and heartfelt embrace.

'You remember when I told you I love all four of those boys in varying ways?' said Ella.

'Yeah,' said Lucy. 'It wasn't very long ago.'

'You know I love _you_ in a very special way as well, right?'

'Yeah, I do; and I love you too.'

Oscar watched the girls holding each other until his eavesdropping was interrupted by Jandro coming up behind him and slapping him on the shoulder.

'What's going on, bro?' Jandro said exuberantly, propelling Oscar into the kitchen as he spoke. 'Oh, cool – the girls are getting up close and personal again!'

' _That_ is definitely the best position for two scantily-clad sex kittens to be in,' said Michael, appearing in the doorway behind Jandro with a huge grin on his face. 'If you girls were planning on going all the way with each other right here in Kev's kitchen, don't let us stop you!'

Lucy and Ella drew apart and rinsed out the drinking vessels they had used.

'Boys,' Ella remarked to Lucy.

'Boorish,' Lucy replied.

* * *

Three loud honks sounded from the street outside. Lucy ran to the front window to take a look.

'John's here,' she announced.

'I guess he must've been to the gas station this morning,' Jandro remarked.

'Who wants a ride?' Lucy asked. 'He's only got room for four, and that's if three of us squash up uncomfortably close on the back seat.'

'Leave me here,' said Oscar. 'I'll help with the rest of the cleaning up.'

'You ride shotgun, Mike,' said Ella. 'You're the biggest.'

'Okay,' said Michael.

Kevin went to open the front door, and his guests trooped past him on their way to John's car. Lucy stopped to give Kevin a warm hug and a kiss on the left cheek, Jandro just gave him a warm hug, Ella gave him a quicker hug and kissed him on the right cheek, then Michael shook his hand and clapped him on the shoulder, whereupon Kevin clapped Michael on the shoulder in return.

'Kev, would you mind putting my cardboard dragon parts in your recycling dumpster?' Lucy called over her shoulder. 'I don't think I'll be needing them anymore.'

'Sure thing,' Kevin called back. 'See ya.'

Kevin closed the door, and turned to find Oscar standing right behind him.

'So,' said Oscar, 'what do you want to do now?'

'Take out all the trash and then put all the bedding back in the right place,' said Kevin.

'Great,' said Oscar, 'I'll help you with that. Then what?'

'I'd better take a shower and see how much of this greenness I can get off my body.'

'Great – I'll help you with that too!'

'Okay,' Kevin laughed. 'Can you get the trash bags from the living room to start with?'

'Sure,' said Oscar, then he adopted a ruminative expression for a few seconds. 'Do you think I could do with a little more meat on me?'

'No way!' said Kevin. 'If you had that, I might not be able to do this!'

He grabbed Oscar by both shoulders and slammed him up against the wall, then kissed him.

'You know I can escape from this anytime I want to,' Oscar said when they drew apart, 'with my advanced karate skills.'

'Go ahead, then.'

'I _don't_ want to.'

'We really should get on with the cleaning up,' said Kevin, 'then we can do something more fun.'

'Okay,' said Oscar. 'I'll go get that trash.'


End file.
